The consulting caller
by Ilostmylifetotheinternet
Summary: AU. John gets the wrong number and ends up texting someone called Sherlock. They begin to become friends. But someone from Sherlock's past is willing to do anything to stop that happening. Will Sherlock and John ever be able to meet? (sorry i suck at summaries) Text fic. Johnlock.


**A/N: Hello internet world :) This is a complete an utter AU on how John and Sherlock met. There will be Mycake, Johnlock and one sided Sheriarty in this fic. John is 22, Sherlock is 20,. other characters will appear later on. Title may change.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock and if I did we would have longer seasons, and probably superwholock.**

* * *

_**Tuesday July 23rd**_

(4pm)

Hey Harry, I finally got a new phone! -JW

(4.01pm)

You have the wrong number. -SH

(4.03pm)

So... this isn't Harry? -JW

(4.04pm)

Nope. -SH

(4.07pm)

Oh sorry. -JW

(4.08pm)

You don't have to apologize. It was a completely rational assumption given the circumstances. -SH

(4.12pm)

Geez, you talk like the bloody queen of England. -JW

(4.13pm)

Nope, that would be my brother. -SH

(4.15pm)

You have a brother? -JW

(4.16pm)

Obviously. -SH

(4.20pm)

And he's the queen of England? -JW

(4.21pm)

Practically. -SH

(4.22pm)

Okay then... -JW

(4.25pm)

So should we just stop talking? -JW

(4.26pm)

Why would we stop talking? I believe what we are doing right now is called texting. -SH

(4.27pm)

Ok texting then. -JW

(4.28pm)

I don't want to stop texting as I prefer texting to calling. -SH

(4.30pm)

*facepalm* -JW

(4.32pm)

I mean texting each other. -JW

(4.34pm)

That depends. Do you want to? -SH

(4.35pm)

Not really... So far talking to you has been interesting. -JW

(4.36pm)

You find me interesting? -SH

(4.37pm)

Ummm, yeah. -JW

(4.38pm)

Interesting... -SH

(4.40pm)

Yeah... so My name's John. What's yours? -JW

(4.41pm)

Sherlock. -SH

(4.45pm)

Sorry, I have to go. Harry just got back. -JW

(4.47pm)

Goodbye John. -SH

_**Wednesday July 24th**_

(2pm)

I'm bored. -SH

(2.05pm)

Ever heard of hello? -JW

(2.06pm)

Of course I've heard of hello! -SH

(2.07pm)

*facepalm* -JW

(2.09pm)

Forget it. -JW

(2.13pm)

What are you doing? -JW

(2.14pm)

I _WAS_ experimenting but my brother took away my chemicals because he thought it was 'too dangerous.' -SH

(2.17pm)

Are you a scientist or something? -JW

(2.18pm)

No, I'm just really interested in chemistry. -SH

(2.19pm)

That's cool. -JW

(2.21pm)

Are you pretty bright then? -JW

(2.22pm)

Yes. -SH

(2,24pm)

Lucky you. -JW

(2.30pm)

Got to go -JW

(2.31pm)

Goodbye then. -SH

(2.33pm)

Bye. -JW

(5pm)

Is it okay if I talk to you? -JW

(5.02pm)

I don't feel like studying and need a distraction. -JW

(5.03pm)

It's fine, I'm bored anyway. -SH

(5.05pm)

Have you gotten your chemicals back yet? -JW

(5.07pm)

I did... but then I accidentally set fire to the curtains. -SH

(5.10pm)

How did you manage to do that? -JW

(5.11pm)

It sort of just happened. -SH

(5.12pm)

Oh... -JW

(5.14pm)

What do you want to get out of studying for? -SH

(5.16pm)

I have a exam in the morning. -JW

(5.17pm)

Do you have any exams coming up? -JW

(5.18pm)

No. -SH

(5.20pm)

You should really be studying for your exam. -SH

(5.23pm)

I am, I'm just taking a break. -JW

(5.24pm)

You should probably get back to it then. -SH

(5.30pm)

Geez, your just like Harry. "You have to study for your exams if you want to do well in life. BLAH BLAH BLAH!" -JW

(5.32pm)

Is Harry your brother or something? -SH

(5.34pm)

Harry's my sister. -JW

(5.36pm)

Oh, theres always something. -SH

(5.38pm)

? -JW

(5.39pm)

It doesn't matter. -SH

(5.42pm)

Study for your exams, they matter. -SH

(5.44pm)

Okay mum! -JW

(5.45pm)

Sherlock. -SH

(5.47pm)

Whatever. -JW

(5.48pm)

Bye. -JW

(5.49pm)

Goodbye John. -SH

_**Thursday 25th July**_

(2am)

Bored. -SH

(2.07am)

Jesus christ! Sherlock... it's 2am! -JW

(2.08am)

And? -SH

(2.10am)

Why on earth are you texting me at 2am? -JW

(2.11am)

I told you. I'm bored. -SH

(2,14am)

You know that at 2am most people are asleep right? -JW

(2.15am)

I'm not most people. -SH

(2.17am)

*rolls eyes* -JW

(2.19am)

So you being bored is a perfectly acceptable reason for you to wake me up at 2am? -JW

(2.21am)

Yeah. -SH

(2.25am)

Well unlike _some_ people I like to sleep at 2am. -JW

(2.27am)

I'm going back to sleep. -JW

(2.28am)

But John... -SH

(2.29am)

I'm bored. -SH

(2.30am)

Bye Sherlock. I'm going to turn my phone off now. -JW

(2.31am)

John? -SH

(2.32am)

Bored -SH

(2.33am)

John? -SH

(2.34am)

JOHN? -SH

(2.36am)

Answer your phone! -SH

(2.37am)

Please? -SH

(2.38am)

Look I even said please. -SH

(2.39am)

No? fine then. -SH

(2.40am)

You've gone back to sleep haven't you? -SH

(2.41am)

Okay, fine. -SH

(2.42am)

Bye then -SH

(7am)

Hey Sherlock. -JW

(7.01am)

Hello John. -SH

(7.04am)

Did you get any sleep last night? -JW

(7.05am)

No. -SH

(7.08am)

You should really get some sleep. -JW

(7.09am)

That you for your input. -SH

(7.11am)

Look Sherlock I have to get ready to take my exam now. I'll talk to you later okay? -JW

(7.12am)

Good luck on your exam. -SH

(7.14am)

Thanks. Bye Sherlock. -JW

(7.15am)

Goodbye John. -SH

(4pm)

Hey Sherlock. -JW

(4.02pm)

Hello John, how'd your exam go? -SH

(4.05pm)

I think I did really well. -JW

(4.06pm)

That's good. -SH

(4.07pm)

Yeah. Harry was really proud of me. -JW

(4.10pm)

She insists that we go out and 'celebrate' tonight. Which of course means drinking. -JW

(4.12pm)

You don't seem to happy about that. -SH

(4.15pm)

Yeah I'm not. -JW

(4.16pm)

Well, have fun anyway. -SH

(4.18pm)

I'll try. -JW

(11pm)

Heeeeyyyyy Sherlllloooock -JW

(11.01pm)

Hello John. -SH

(11.10pm)

Waaaattt cha doin? -JW

(11.11pm)

I was reading a book. -SH

(11.12pm)

Oh... BOOORRRRIINNNGGGG -JW

(11.13pm)

Actually it was really interesting. -SH

(11.15pm)

Watever. -JW

(11.17pm)

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -JW

(11.19pm)

John, I think you should refrain from texting me until you've sobered up a little. -SH

(11.20pm)

But SHERRRLLLLOOOCCCKKKK -JW

(11.21pm)

I'M FINE. I'M COMPLETELY SOOOOBBBBEEERRR -JW

(11.24pm)

I only had like one beer... -JW

(11.25pm)

ok maYbe 1123 -JW

(11.27pm)

I mean twoj -JW

(11.30pm)

See SHeerrlloockc I'm the gramma QUEEN -JW

(11.31pm)

Okay John... -SH

(11.33pm)

MY NAMES NOT JOHN ANYMORE! -JW

(11.36pm)

I AMMM JOHN THE KIIIINGG G OF ALL THE JAM IN THE WORLD -JW

(11.37pm)

Sure you are... -SH

(11.40pm)

I AMMMMM SHRLOCK -JW

(11.42pm)

ALLLL THHHEEEE JAMMM BOWS DOWN BEFORE MEEEEEEE -JW

(11.44pm)

Get some sleep John. -SH

(11.47pm)

OKKKKAAAYYYY -JW

(11.50pm)

BYYYYEEEEE SHHHERLOCK -JW

(11.51pm)

Goodbye John -SH

(11.55pm)

SHHHEEERRRLLLOOOOCCCKKK? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE? -JW

(11.58pm)

WHHYYYY ARREEE WEEE HEREEE -JW

(12.00am)

OHHHH HAARRRRYYYY SAYS CUZ OF 42? -JW

(12.03am)

WATT DOESS THAT MEAN SHERL? -JW

(12.07am)

SHHHEERRRL? -JW

(12.10am)

SHHHEEEERRRRLOLOOOCK -JW

(12.14am)

WHHHYYY WON'T U ANNNSWERT? -JW

(12.15am)

Go to sleep John. -SH

(12.20am)

Sherlock? -MH

(12.21am)

What do you want Mycroft? -SH

(12.23am)

Who's your new friend? The jam king is it? -MH

(12,25am)

He was just drunk Mycake, leave it. -SH

(12.27am)

How'd you meet him? -MH

(12.30am)

He had the wrong number and texted me by mistake. -SH

(12.31am)

Oh Sherlock. -MH

(12.34am)

How do you know that this John character isn't just another Criminal trying to get to you. -MH

He's not. -SH

(12.36am)

You said that last time this happened... -MH

(12.37am)

Don't you dare mention that fatcroft. -SH

(12.40am)

Just trying to remind you not to get too attached to this John character. He could easily be like the last one lockie. -MH

(12.42am)

Don't call me that mikey. -SH

(12.45am)

Why not sherly? -MH

(12.46am)

You know perfectly well why Microsoft! -SH

(12.49am)

Care to elaborate William? -MH

(12.50am)

No!. -SH

(12.52am)

How's the diet Mycake? -SH

(12.54am)

Fine. -MH

(12.55am)

No, I think it needs some work. -SH

(12.56am)

Just be careful about this John character. You never know who he might be. -MH

(12.58am)

I'll be fine. Quit worrying. -SH

(1am)

I can't simply 'quit worrying'. Just don't let what happened last time happen again, got it Sherlock? -MH

(1.02am)

Got it Mikey. -SH

(1.04am)

Goodbye Brother dear -MH

(1.06am)

Goodbye Minecraft. -SH


End file.
